Western Intruder, by Jake


Bang, whiz; bang whiz, went a gun. “Aaarghhh!” Uncle Davy yells.

Bang whizz, went another gun.“Ai!” the Intruder shouts.

“Uncle Davy!” I cry.

“It’s over,” the Intruder says.


Bang. Whizzz.“Ahhh! Aughhhhh!” The Intruder cries.


Creak. Smack. Bang; whizz. Krshack. “He’s gone!” I cry. “No!”

“Uhhhhh……” I hear.

“Uncle Davy!” I say, “Are you ok?”

“Uhhhh – “Uncle Davy groaned, cut off by death.

“No,” I whisper, “no.”

9 Years Later
Chapter 1: The Saloon


All you could hear was the clip-clop of a tired horse. And then a voice.“Well Rodeo, this is town,” I say. “Ain’t as ‘mazin’ as they crack it up to. Saddlebag, how are you?”

“Yip,” Saddlebag replied.

“Great,” I say, mainly to myself.

Saddlebag is a small, leather-brown terrier. He has his own saddlebag right behind my saddle. Hence the name, Saddlebag. Rodeo is my horse. He is chestnut brown with white splotches.

“I’ve got a quarter and a nickel,” I tell Saddlebag and Rodeo. “I think I’ll head down to the Saloon over there an’ get somethin’ to drink.” I add, “And something for you two, too. Don’t worry.”

I walk into the Saloon and see a bunch of men playing cards amongst all of the other men drinking beer, hitting people with beer bottles, and spitting. I decide to join the men playing cards. One man bets four dollars and the pack of cards we are playing with. Another man bets $10.21. I bet 25 cents.

The first man deals the cards. I get all four aces and the king of diamonds. We then lay our cards down. I lay down my aces and win. Now, instead of 30 cents, I have $14.81 cents; and a deck of standard faced green backed cards. Now, I go over to the counter and order three jugs of cider and a glass of milk. One jug for me, one jug for Saddlebag, and one jug for Rodeo. And a glass of milk for me too. While the waitress is getting my drink, I look around and see my friend, Renald.

Chapter 2: The Reunion


“Howdy, Rennie,” I say. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah,” Rennie confirmed, taking a drink of apple juice. “Long time no see.”

“I missed ya, buddy,” I say.

“Missed you too, Jared,” Rennie says, taking another sip. “Can’t believe we’re together again.”

“Yep,” I say. “Hey, how was the East?” Rennie had gone over to the East Coast of the United States for a year and a half.

“It was great,” Rennie replies rapidly. “The East, it’s pretty nice!”

“Wish I could go, maybe we can go together sometime,” I suggest.

“Yeah, that would be fun,” Rennie agrees. “So why are you down here, Jared?

“Oh, I need some cider,” I say. “And milk,” I add. “How about you, Rennie? Why are you down here?”

“Oh, I just wanted to come back down here.”

“Makes sense,” I say. “It’s pretty nice down here.”

“Yup,” Rennie agrees. “Sure is.”

“Three jugs of cider and a glass of milk,” a woman’s voice announces. “Oh, and a glass of apple juice too.”

“That’s us,” I tell her. We pay for our drinks and leave. As we’re leaving, Rennie invites me to his house for dinner. I agree.

“Come ‘bout 4:00,” he tells me, after informing me of his address.

“I’ll be there,” I reply. Then we get on our horses and ride our separate ways. Rennie goes into town and I go out.

Chapter 3: Dinner with Rennie


“Howdy, Jared!” Rennie calls as I ride up to his house at 4:03 p.m. “How’re you?”

“Fine,” I reply as I get out of my saddle. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Rennie replies.

“Do yeh mind if Saddlebag comes too?” I ask as I put Rodeo in the stables. “He won’t be much trouble.”

“Sure, I don’t mind, Jared,” Rennie answered. “Come on in. With Saddlebag too, of course,” he added.

“Thanks,” I say entering the house. “Thanks a lot.”

“No problem,” Rennie replies, looking into the house behind me.

“Jared, dinner!” Rennie calls.

“Comin’!” I reply.

“We’re havin’ pasta,” Rennie says.

Rennie and I wash our hands and sit down at the table. Food is already on our plates.

“Thanks for comin’,” Rennie says.

“No problem; thanks for havin’ me,” I reply.

“You’re welcome,” Rennie says. “What’s your horse’s name, again?”

“Rodeo,” I answer. “What’s yours?”

“Zebra,” Rennie answers.

“So are you going to continue being a cowboy, now that you’re back, or will yeh do somethin’ else?” I ask.

“I think I’m going to settle down and open a school or a college,” Rennie answered.

“Oh,” I say. “Not a cowboy no more.”

“Nope,” Rennie replies. “A teacher, and a professor.”

“Jared, do you want to stay here for the night?”

“Yes please,” I answer.

“You can,” Rennie informs me.

“Thanks a lot!” I say.

“You’re welcome a lot,” Rennie replies.

“Oh, can Saddlebag stay too? If not, he’s fine in his bag,” I ask.

“Of course he can stay! Follow me to your room.”

Chapter 4: The Second Intruder


Bang, whiz! Bang, whiz!

“Oh, yeh missed, yeh lousy shootin’ intruder!” I yell. “RENALD!” I bellow at the top of my lungs, as I reach for my pistol.

Bang, whiz. Bang whiz, bang whizzz! Krshack, Krshack, Krshack!

“He got away,” I growl as Rennie comes in. “Every intruder gets away from me.”

“Jared, look at the door.”

There, a sticky note with a bullet through the bottom right corner read:

JARED, I killed your UNCLE DAVY.
If you want to avenge your uncle, live, or both.
You’ll have to kill ME.
previously known as



“Are you gonna fight ‘im, Jared?” Rennie asked.

“You bet I will. I’ll beat ‘im too,” I tell Rennie, determined to beat Vexeronicus.

“Need a sidekick?” Rennie asks.

“Definitely!” I reply, a smile growing on my face. “Does this mean you’re a cowboy again?”

“You bet!” Rennie answers.

Thus, the seeking of Vexeronicus begins.

Chapter 5: The Search


“Ya,” I cry. “Let’s go Rodeo!”

“C’mon Zebra!” Rennie yells. “Let’s catch up! Yee Haw!”

Me and Rennie are following the tracks of the horse that we believe belongs to Jaxonire on a flat, dry desert landscape. As you can tell, we’re trying to get there fast. Clip clop, clip clop.

“Saddlebag!” I ask. “You okay? Oh, and still on?”


“Good!!” I say.

“Jared, are you able to stop of a minute?” Rennie asked me over the sound of hooves. I stop. “You dropped your hat.”

“I did?” I ask, looking backwards and seeing it. “Oh.” I go and grab my hat. “Thanks!”

“Ok Rennie; the tracks lead to this oasis. They seem to go around it. Should we go?” I ask.

Rennie shrugs.

“Let’s find Jaxonire!” I say, enthusiastically, headed around the oasis on Rodeo. “You comin?”

“Might as well,” Rennie answers, following me.

As we look at the oasis, I think up a plan.

Chapter 6: Carrying out the Plan


I tell Rennie my plan and he rides Zebra into the oasis while I ride Rodeo around the oasis. When I get about a quarter of the way around the oasis, I saw a bush rustling. The rustling made Rodeo jump. Saddlebag yipped and I fell off.

I go investigate the rustling. It was just a rabbit. I get back on Rodeo and ride off. About a third of the way around the oasis, we see a horse. It is a black stallion. We see some human footprints. We follow the footprints.

“Aha!” I hear as I walk around some paw-paw trees. “You finally found me.”

“Jaxonire,” I say darkly. “Jaxonire Macrone.”

“No,” the black-clad, hooded man in front of me says. “Vexeronicus.”

Chapter 7: Breaking through Paw-paw Trees


Both me and Vexeronicus draw our guns at the same time (At this point, I really noticed that Vexeronicus had only one arm, and the other one was just his sleeve dangling from his shirt), ready to shoot. Well, not entirely….Crackerash!

“Yee-haw, Zebra! Weeeeee, howdy!” Rennie hollered as he rides between us on Zebra, dangerously close to my nose.

“Bang, whiz!” goes Rennie’s gun.

“Ulhhhh!” Vexeronicus groaned as the bullet hit his stomach.

“Ya hit ‘im, Rennie!” I shouted gleefully, “Yee haw!”

As I hop on Rodeo and ride off, out of the corner of my eye, I notice Vexeronicus get up and stagger toward his horse. I swing Rodeo around to meet him.

“Vexeronicus!!” I shout, riding toward him. “You ain’t gettin’ away this time!”

“That’s what you think, fool!” Vexeronicus replies angrily.

“No!” I shout tersely, “It’s what I know!”

“Heh,” Vexeronicus laughs, annoyed. “Right here, right now, if we had a duel, who’d win?”

“Let’s find out,” is my simple response.

Chapter 8: The Gun Shot


I’d spent nine years trying to find and defeat the one-armed man who had killed my Uncle Davy. Now I have found him, Vexeronicus. What do I do now?

“I’ll beat you Vex!” I shout. “To defend myself.” And, I thought in my head, to avenge my uncle.

With that thought freshly in my head, I shoot Vexeronicus as he is still on his horse. I shoot Vexeronicus as he’s shouting at me telling me not to call him Vex. I shoot Vexeronicus. I kill Vexeronicus. Right here and right now. With his own gun. The gun that killed Uncle Davy.

Now I feel funny.

Chapter 9: Aftermath


Gleefully Rennie shouted, “You got ‘im Jared! You got ‘im!”

“Yeah, guess I did,” I say, brightening up. “I’m safe now. Rodeo, Saddlebag, Rennie, Zebra… big changes are comin’ for us, all five of us,” I announce as the five of us ride off into the sunset.

The End



As me and Rennie get home, we see a sign tacked onto the door. It reads




About the Author

Hi, my name is Jacob. I’m 12 years old. I live in Malawi, Africa. I am the author of “Western Intruder” and hopefully more stories.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.